Friday the 13th

I wrote in my about me section that we are expecting a another baby in June! We are extremely excited but because of Preston's history was advised to get specialized screenings.

Last Friday (yes the unlucky 13th) we were scheduled for our Specialized Facial Ultrasound. We were so excited because we hoped to get a sneak peak of the gender!  We brought Preston with us so he could experience the excitement along with us. I wasn't nervous at all...I mean Preston's birth defects were flukes so it couldn't happen again. 

The Ultrasound tech came in and first thing asked if we wanted to find out the gender. Of course we did! We saw right away we are having another BOY!! Sooo excited and Preston clapped to! Then she began to scan over the heart, brain, and then she went over his face. My heart sank...I saw it immediately and began to cry. We couldn't possibly be about to go through this again! The Tech asked me what was wrong and i told her I had seen the babies face. She scanned back over his face and saw it herself. She asked about Preston and his history. She made remarks as if to console me without confirming what I saw. She said "I would have never guessed he had a cleft, how many surgeries has he been through? They did an amazing job!" etc For a moment I thought I might have jumped to conclusions but then she walked out. 

A few moments later two doctors came in (med students) I was going to be a learning tool. I guess everyone needs practice but I didn't feel like being the guinea pig. About 15 minutes passed and another doctor walked in and introduced herself. She sat down and began whispering to the ultrasound tech while looking at the pictures.  All I could think of was how rude they were being and how I knew something was wrong. It had been way to quiet for way to long and everyone had stopped talking to us directly. It was if we were no longer in the room. Finally, The doctor came over to us and tried getting a better look at his face. She typed in the words UL over his mouth and I knew what that meant. It had been 45 minutes since we started the ultrasound and we finally had an answer. Our baby boy had a cleft. 

Preston

I wish I could rewind time and appreciate life the way I do now. It's funny how a little boy can change you and make you into a better person. Just with a smile...Preston has done just that. I look at his face and find love. I look into his eyes and see wisdom beyond his years. Sure, he is just 2 years old but this little boy has been through more than most 2 year old boys his age.

On November 24th 2009, Two days before Thanksgiving we welcomed an 8lb 8oz boy Preston Dane into the world. Until that day we had no clue what life was truly about. Preston was born with a special smile it was slightly bigger than most but not a wide as others. We were in shock but not devastated until Thanksgiving Day. On Thanksgiving day Preston went for his hearing test and unfortunately failed. We could accept his wide smile but could not fathom our baby boy never hearing. I picked up my baby boy as he was crying and cried with him. My mind started running with obscene thoughts about how I must have done this to him. This was my fault. I had been a mother for 2 days and already failed.

As we have learned so many times doctor's tend to give worst case scenarios. Preston was not deaf as they had suggested. He had fluid in his ears and as with most Cleft affected children received tubes.
I will say we were clueless going into this whole process with Preston. You just always expect your children to be born healthy without conditions. You do everything you are suppose to do, eat all the right foods and take the right vitamins. You avoid cold cut meats and refuse that glass of wine. Then you find out sometimes it doesn't matter.